And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
