I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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