i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
