worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
