I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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