I'm going to jail i love you
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
