I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
