Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
