I think my vagina is haunted
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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