hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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