if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
