please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
