he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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