Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
