my vag is so smooth its legendary
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
