i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
