so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
