he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
