So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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