u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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