Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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