no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
