I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
