The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
