i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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