What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
