You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
