I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
