So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
