my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
