Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
