I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
