i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
