I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
