I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
