I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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