Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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