help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
