Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
