he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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