remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize