Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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