She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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