All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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