Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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