Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
