i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
