I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
