i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
