I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
