i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
