Having a random hookup so left but love u
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
