Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think your dad took our porno
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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