Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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