um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
