someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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