my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
