We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
