Are we in a gay sports bar?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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