I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
