Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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