was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
